INTEGRITY

INTEGRATE - To combine parts so they become whole. 
DISINTEGRATE - To weaken by coming apart. 

INTEGRITY - TO COMBINE MY ACTIONS & MY WORDS SO THEY BECOME THE SAME
DISINTEGRATE - WHEN I LACK INTEGRITY, MY LIFE WEAKENS OR COMES APART.

... when I say or do things I either don't believe in or care for but I go through such motions because it buys me a means to an often subconscious selfish gain (saving of face, avoiding responsibility, etc.). For instance; If I tell someone that I will do something so that they will not get upset with or think poorly of me and then I carry around resentment because I never really wanted to do it in the first place, but I lacked the courage to just be honest.  This is an example of lying to myself and others, and the inevitable resentment or victimization I carry around weakens my power strips me of my FREEDOM and my PEACE.  

I have found that my life will almost always disintegrate when I lie ... to myself or others ... no matter the 'honorable good' behind my lies.  It will all eventually come apart.  I have to let go of my control over every situation, get REAL about what I want, what I can do, what I won't do, what I feel anxiety about, etc. My desire to control other's perceptions of me, outcomes, reactions, responses, other's happiness or their lack of it; I have to let go of all that I hold onto to find my heart. (<--- that's a link peeps, CLICK ON IT)  It is within the confines of my heart that my truth exists.  When I deny my truth it ALWAYS seeps out ... it seeps out sometimes in resentment or tears, manipulation or passive-aggressiveness, sarcasm or stress, depression or anxiety - it always finds a way - the heart ALWAYS overrides the head with physical reactions of one form or another.  

Today I challenge you to be HONEST in all that you say and do ... to bring INTEGRITY into your life, which ultimately brings tranquility, peace, freedom & contentment. 

LIVE FOR TRUTH, CREATE INTEGRITY. 

Love you, 
Alli

RESPONSIBILITY

I have to ask myself ...
Are there people who take advantage of me?
Do they cross boundaries I never fully or boldly expressed?
Do I expect people to read my mind because they SHOULD know me by now or because there is some invisible code of ethics I expect everyone to follow or know?
Do I lovingly and clearly express my triggers and how those cause me to withhold attention, affection, & trust for others?

I have to keep in mind that I have TAUGHT other's how to treat me ... I have helped CREATE the situations I am in -- good and bad ... and it will take some TIME coupled with some DISCOMFORT to re-train those around me in loving and vulnerable ways.

If I blame those around me for my discomfort, for my broken marriage, for my martyr position, for my sadness, for my loss, for my heartache, for my mind blocks - I give them all power over my life - I lay down in victimization & wait on THEM to make it different. If I own up to and take responsibility for the passive-aggressive or manipulative behaviors I employed to survive the madness or to get what I wanted/needed, then I CAN CHANGE THE SITUATION BY CHANGING HOW I THINK / BEHAVE ... and in turn will employ AUTHENTIC value to my situations.

With authenticity and vulnerability and self-care ... my whole world changes.  I no longer live FOR people, I live for TRUTH.

LIVE FOR TRUTH ladies & gentlemen.

Love you,
Alli